Reasonable behavior

When I am in the Domestic Relations Court and people ask me how I am, in jest I say “oh, you know, just dealing with reasonable people asking for reasonable things.” People who work in domestic relations and family law know that this is funny, well sort of funny. While it is funny on the surface, as this is our job to deal with unreasonableness everyday, it is actually kind of sad because children are often involved. People push and pull, and they tell children more than they should. Parents often want to “win” at custody, and that is rarely a good thing. People have to realize that Mom and Dad will always be Mom and Dad, and the other parent needs to make sure that the relationship with both parents is valued. Of course, that is assuming that the other parent is reasonable and appropriate, and is willing to behave in a way that is in the child’s best interest. The amount of unreasonable behaviors and attitudes that people have in the family courts is staggering. Before you have children, it is important to know who you are making this commitment with. If you have a child you are stuck with this other person for life, and at least the next 18 years the Court’s have jurisdiction. So, be careful and think long and hard before you make any life time decisions. Assuming that you know the person, and they are a good person, and you have a child and the marriage or relationship fails, you need to enter into a business relationship when that marriage fails. That is a relationship of the child. You do not need to like each other, but you need to respect each other, and respect that the other party plays a valuable role in the child’s life. Work together as partners to ensure the child gets all that they need. As it relates to the law, please comply with court orders , or reach an agreement that works for the two of you. If a true dispute arises, make sure you both select counsel who understand the value of resolution and problem solving. Look at other options such as mediaiton, 4 way meetings, collaborative resolution, or parenting coordinator options.  Peter S. Kirner at Kirner and Boldt Co. LPA understands and appreciates the need for you to be successful in your parenting relationship and will try and work for you to bring your family law matter to resolution quickly and in the best interest of your child.